How do we rebuild trust when we have lost it, especially when the stakes are high? That’s where some of us are with some of our relationships. A few years back, two business partners came to me for help. They’d been friends for years and had successfully launched a venture together. But now, their relationship was under strain.
One partner, who handled the day-to-day operations, felt he was carrying the load without sufficient recognition or support. The other, an investor with a high-level executive role elsewhere, felt sidelined, believing his partner was making decisions without him. They’d reached a crucial point: the business was on the verge of a major market breakthrough, but negativity, suspicion and mutual mistrust held them back.
This story might sound familiar. In any partnership, unspoken frustrations often surface when the relationship isn’t managed intentionally. Without a focus on open communication and alignment, the “elephants in the room” become harder to ignore. My philosophy in these cases is simple: “Relationship precedes Results.” When people come together with trust, everything else becomes manageable.
Here’s how we helped restore balance in their partnership:
- Active Listening: Each partner took turns expressing their perspective while the other listened without interrupting. Afterward, they repeated back what they’d heard to ensure clarity and understanding. Misinterpretations can arise from misunderstood intentions, and this exercise helped reveal their “shared truth.”
- The Empty Chair Exercise: I placed an empty chair in the room and named it after the business—let’s call it “XYZ Technologies.” Each partner took a turn sitting in the chair and speaking as the business itself. What did XYZ need at that moment? Both partners voiced the business’s goals, putting aside personal grievances. The message was clear: “Let go of personal disputes. This is the time to collaborate, communicate, and focus on achieving shared goals.”
- What now? After the first two steps we could innovate and then draw up a practical action plan. Interesting how this gave them direction and hope. Then we had great food together to celebrate the breakthrough.
One key takeaway: Trust Matters! As Stephen M.R. Covey writes in The Speed of Trust, when trust is high, productivity increases, and costs decrease. Trust isn’t just about good intentions; it’s built on both competence (skills and results) and character (integrity and clear intentions).
How can you ensure trust in a business partnership? Here are a few practical steps:
- Choose your partners well: Make sure that you take hands not only with people you like and have great chemistry with. Choose team members who are competent and able to produce results, but also make sure they have integrity and honesty. Then, the rest comes so much easier.
- Set Clear Goals and Expectations: Regularly communicate expectations and goals, keeping everyone aligned.
- Emphasize Transparency: Share information openly. Each partner should know what’s happening in the business, which fosters confidence. Tough and straight forward conversations are necessary, normal and good.
- Separate Personal from Business Feedback: It’s easy to take feedback personally. Rather see it as an opportunity to grow personally and build the business.
- Show Empathy: Before pointing fingers, try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Instead of criticizing, engage in dialogue by listening well and aiming for solutions.
- Prioritize the Business: Make decisions based on what’s best for the business, not what serves personal interests.
- When needed, get help: Be humble enough to get help when necessary. An outside perspective and extra expertise can take you a far way and perhaps give you the competitive edge.
- Know when to get out: If you cannot manage to rebuild trust, it might be wise to discontinue your business relationship. Sometimes you can continue your friendship, but choose not to collaborate in the same venture anymore.
As leaders and partners, trust doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built through consistent actions and open communication. When trust flows, so does success.
