From “Me” to “We”

Have you ever been part of a team, family, or organisation where people were stuck—trapped in competition, control, or self-preservation—when they could have achieved so much more together?

Almost twenty years ago, I walked away from leading a dynamic difference-making organisation. From the outside, we looked successful. But behind the scenes, ego-driven agendas, misunderstandings, and fear held us back. Instead of working together, we were working against each other. Looking back, I realise how different things could have been—if only we had understood the secrets of self-giving collaboration. We have since healed, forgiven, and moved on, but the lessons remain.

As humans, we often believe success comes from standing strong and independent. But what if true strength isn’t about going it alone? What if the real magic happens when we move from “Me” to “We”—where we don’t just survive alone but thrive together?

The Trap of Survival Mode

In the Positive Intelligence model, our saboteurs keep us in survival mode. They make us control, please, avoid, justify, or deny in order to feel safe. They whisper that others are threats, making us see the world through a lens of scarcity and self-preservation. The result? Strained relationships, missed opportunities, and ongoing stress.

The Shift to Thriving

The alternative is to shift from “Me” to “We.” When we do the following:

  • We appreciate and love instead of criticising.
  • We stay curious, open to different perspectives rather than resisting reality.
  • We create together, finding solutions instead of clinging to old positions.
  • We act in alignment with values rather than reacting from fear.
  • We collaborate, holding each other accountable with love instead of control.

This shift builds trust, opens dialogue, and allows people to contribute freely, leading to real progress.

The Wisdom of Interdependence

Stephen Covey called interdependence the highest level of maturity. It’s where we:

  • Listen to understand before seeking to be understood.
  • Think win-win, ensuring success is shared, not won at someone else’s expense.
  • Synergise, combining strengths to create something greater than we could alone.

Success and happiness aren’t solo pursuits. True fulfilment and best results come when we move beyond “me” and embrace “we.”

I ask myself: where in my life is this shift still waiting to happen? Maybe you can do the same. Together, we can build teams, organisations, and communities that thrive—not just survive.

To our collective thriving! 🙂

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Courage for 2025 – Using Stress to Work for You!

It is interesting how many people are stressed in the beginning of a year, especially when they return to work. Every time I sit in a room with senior leaders, I sense that one of their greatest challenges is uncertainty—and more importantly, the stress and negativity it brings. Continue reading Courage for 2025 – Using Stress to Work for You!

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Can Trust Rise from the Ashes

“The idea that trust cannot be restored once it is lost is a myth. Though it may be difficult, in most cases, lost trust can be restored – and often even enhanced!”
– Stephen M.R. Covey.

Nearly 20 years ago, a group of friends and colleagues secretly held meetings behind my back with the aim of removing me from my leadership position. These were men I loved, trusted, and deeply respected. I couldn’t understand why I was struggling to lead meetings and fulfil my role—until one day, I asked one of them directly what was going on. That’s when the truth came out. Continue reading Can Trust Rise from the Ashes

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Guidance in Silence

Do you ever feel like your mind is too noisy, overwhelmed by too much information and endless decisions? Imagine finding a place of silence amidst the chaos, where you can receive clarity and wisdom. Picture quieting your mind, processing everything clearly, and then, from a place of clarity, making calm, confident decisions. This could lift a huge weight off your shoulders and make life feel simpler and easier. Continue reading Guidance in Silence

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