Have you ever been part of a team, family, or organisation where people were stuck—trapped in competition, control, or self-preservation—when they could have achieved so much more together?
Almost twenty years ago, I walked away from leading a dynamic difference-making organisation. From the outside, we looked successful. But behind the scenes, ego-driven agendas, misunderstandings, and fear held us back. Instead of working together, we were working against each other. Looking back, I realise how different things could have been—if only we had understood the secrets of self-giving collaboration. We have since healed, forgiven, and moved on, but the lessons remain.
As humans, we often believe success comes from standing strong and independent. But what if true strength isn’t about going it alone? What if the real magic happens when we move from “Me” to “We”—where we don’t just survive alone but thrive together?
The Trap of Survival Mode
In the Positive Intelligence model, our saboteurs keep us in survival mode. They make us control, please, avoid, justify, or deny in order to feel safe. They whisper that others are threats, making us see the world through a lens of scarcity and self-preservation. The result? Strained relationships, missed opportunities, and ongoing stress.
The Shift to Thriving
The alternative is to shift from “Me” to “We.” When we do the following:
- We appreciate and love instead of criticising.
- We stay curious, open to different perspectives rather than resisting reality.
- We create together, finding solutions instead of clinging to old positions.
- We act in alignment with values rather than reacting from fear.
- We collaborate, holding each other accountable with love instead of control.
This shift builds trust, opens dialogue, and allows people to contribute freely, leading to real progress.
The Wisdom of Interdependence
Stephen Covey called interdependence the highest level of maturity. It’s where we:
- Listen to understand before seeking to be understood.
- Think win-win, ensuring success is shared, not won at someone else’s expense.
- Synergise, combining strengths to create something greater than we could alone.
Success and happiness aren’t solo pursuits. True fulfilment and best results come when we move beyond “me” and embrace “we.”
I ask myself: where in my life is this shift still waiting to happen? Maybe you can do the same. Together, we can build teams, organisations, and communities that thrive—not just survive.
To our collective thriving! 🙂
