If we can turn our conflicts, disagreements, and deals into win-win situations life can be so much better. After the recent election in South Africa, the new Government of National Unity (GNU) will need to excel in collaboration and negotiation to effectively serve the people. We hope and pray they will.
However, I think our national political arena offers valuable opportunities for all of us as citizens to learn from both failures and successes. Let’s make this more personal. Whether it’s buying a car, setting a curfew for your teenager, or planning a vacation with your partner, negotiation is an integral part of your daily life.
Negotiation is crucial. It’s also key to getting ahead in the workplace, resolving conflicts, and creating value in contracts. Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton’s book, “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In,” offers timeless advice on how to navigate these negotiations effectively. Here’s a very brief summary of their approach to successful negotiation.
Four Principles of Effective Negotiation
- Separate the People from the Problem: By focusing on the issue separately from the relationship, you can maintain positive relationships while working toward a solution. Good relationships lead to good results. Finding solutions without damaging relationships is an important part of the ideal outcome. Let’s try to view each other as partners not competitors.
- Focus on Interests, Not Positions: Ask the other party: what is it that you really want? Look beyond specific demands to understand the underlying interests. This can lead to flexible and creative solutions that satisfy both sides. In South Africa, we all want a better life for all, but our opinions on how to get there might differ. In general, poor people want work, housing, security, and income. Rich people want stability, safety, and a good return on their money.
- Generate a Variety of Options: Get the facts on the table, then brainstorm multiple possibilities before deciding on a solution. This expands the range of potential agreements and increases the chances of finding a mutually satisfactory outcome. Avoid seeing negotiation as a zero-sum game where one party’s gain is the other’s loss.
- Insist on Objective Criteria: Base decisions on objective standards rather than subjective opinions. Using impartial benchmarks like collective values, constitutional rights, market value, legal standards, or expert opinions helps ensure that agreements are fair and sustainable.
Overcoming Obstacles
The book also addresses common obstacles in negotiations and strategies to overcome them:
- Perception Differences: As Stephen Covey said, “First seek to understand, then to be understood.” Conflicts often arise from differing interpretations of facts. Understand each other’s viewpoints and make proposals appealing to the other side.
- Emotional Reactions: Emotions are part of the process. Fear, frustration, and anger can derail negotiations. Acknowledge and understand emotions, allow parties to express them, and make symbolic gestures to defuse tension.
- Communication Barriers: Active listening, clear communication, and avoiding blame ensure both sides understand each other’s points, reducing misunderstandings.
Friends, may you negotiate wisely, with integrity, and get to great win-win outcomes. Let’s also hope and pray the GNU will foster wise, efficient, and relationship-enhancing agreements to build a unified and prosperous future for South Africa.
You might consider reading the following:
- A great summary by Tanya Glaser: https://www.beyondintractability.org/bksum/fisher-getting
- A recent newspaper article by Dr. Theuns Eloff: https://www.netwerk24.com/netwerk24/stemme/menings/theuns-eloff-rne-sal-net-slaag-as-die-politieke-spel-verander-20240701
- The book by Fisher, Roger and William Ury. 2011. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, 3rd ed. New York, NY: Penguin Books.