Thriving when life is tough, is not easy. And currently many of us are facing severe challenges. But let’s not go into survival mode of fight, flight, hide or freeze!
Life is like a building. Not a showpiece or a palace, but something real—weathered by time and touched by storms. And just like any building, the part that matters most when the wind howls or the earth shakes is not the height of the walls or the beauty of the design, but the strength of the foundation.
A dear friend of mine, let’s call him Chris, is a pastor. Several years ago, his beautiful, faithful wife told him she wanted to end their marriage. They had two small children at the time—both still in pre-school. He was devastated. He’d noticed that she had been emotionally distant for a while, but he still thought their marriage was solid.
But here’s what stood out: Chris had a strong foundation. Yes, he was heartbroken and deeply shaken, but he remembered who he was. He chose to believe that his worth and his joy didn’t depend on another person, not even on the one he loved most. When she moved out, he gave her space. He kept reassuring her of his love, gently reminding her that she was always welcome to come back, and that they could seek help together. Although they got counseling, she did not change her decisision. But he stayed positive and hopeful.
He once said to me, “I want to be the kind of man who makes it easy for her to come home.”
His church community supported him with love and gave him time off from all responsibilities. Months went by—twists, turns, and what some might call a coincidence (but we’d call grace). One day, after a conversation with someone who helped her confront a deep inner fear of being trapped in family life, her eyes were opened, she came free. She saw clearly again, and couldn’t believe she had wanted to walk away from such a beautiful family.
They found their way back to one another. It’s been over 20 years, and they’re still happily together.
Not all stories end like this. But this one is a picture of what’s possible when your life is built on something deeper than circumstances.
So here’s the question each of us must ask:
How strong are my foundations when life hits hard?
Whether it’s in relationships, health, finances, or work—how do I stay standing, or find my way back up when I’ve been knocked down?
We don’t have space here to explore it all, but here are a few ways you can strengthen your foundation, starting now:
- Spiritually: Anchor yourself. Know why you are here and what your core values are. And if you’re a Christian, don’t settle for religion—nurture a living, breathing relationship with the One who made you. That’s what gives you inner strength when everything else shifts.
- Identity: Know who you are. Know where your joy and sense of worth truly come from. It’s not your job, your relationship status, or your achievements. It’s deeper than all of that.
- Proactive Living: Train yourself to respond from the inside out, not react from the outside in. Circumstances will come and go, but your response can shape the outcome. Learn daily to pause, centre yourself, and choose your next step with wisdom. Know your coping strategy.
- Support: You were never meant to do life alone. Cherish the people in your life. Help where you can, and allow others to help you when you need it. Community is part of a strong foundation.
No one escapes life’s storms. But with the right foundations, you don’t just survive—you grow deeper, stronger, and even more beautiful with time.
