Choose the ‘world’ you want to live in!

By making a few mental shifts about your circumstances (or the country), you can radically change your life for the good! It sounds supernatural. And in a sense it is. But millions of people have done it before you, and you can do it too. With what’s happening in the world currently, we need to make the shift.

Think about these statements:

  • The map is not the territory” (but just a representation of it).
  • You don’t see life as it is; you see it as you are”. (And that “map” drives your emotions, actions… and becomes your life.)
  • The world you live in, is predominantly in your mind”.
  • We live mainly in our emotions – if it feels good, it is good”.
  • Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. (Shakespeare)

Not long ago, I coached a 47 year old man. In spite of the fact that he was loyal to the company for over 16 years, and that he was more qualified and skilled than any of the other candidates, the board appointed an outside person in the CFO position. The reason, he assumed, was his skin colour and gender. He was miserable and said things like “this company sucks, my career is blocked; life is unfair; hard work does not pay off”. He was looking for other positions outside the company, and even considered emigrating.

In the session we did a life audit. He lives a good life: is healthy, has a beautiful family, good house, great income, is loved by his team. His mental representation of his life was skewed, and that became “the unfair world” he started to live in. Initially he resisted to change his views and chose to hang on to the painful emotions – because it felt real. But he was desperate. I took him through a process to help him to dim and fade his unhelpful perspectives and bitter emotions. He replaced it with new views and feelings. He reaffirmed himself as successful (identity) and started to see himself as able and called to make an impact (competence). Internal shifts occurred. I also challenged him to take on a more courageous and confident posture. His energy levels changed. (The new colleague is still a challenge, but according to him, he is trying to help where he can.)

Remember, in any experience you can choose what to make of it. There is no inherent meaning to an experience. It is just an experience. We give it meaning by the way we assess and interpret it. We use our mental filters and lenses. Subsequently we use meaning-giving language (“this is awful / unfair”, or “this is what it is and full of possibility”). And then our emotions and actions follow. And with that we build our lives.

Not circumstances nor events, but your choices and mind-sets determine the happiness and impact of your life. Choose well, be blessed and be a blessing. In the darkness, you can be the light… when it is light inside you!