Perhaps you are facing a decision at the moment and are unsure what to do. Internally, you might feel the tension of uncertainty and doubt mixed with hope and perhaps excitement.

Your mind may be filled with competing voices: facts and opinions, hopes and fears, urgency, previous disappointments, the expectations of others – and perhaps a quieter sense of what really matters.

Our lives are shaped, to a large extent, by the decisions we make. The quality of our lives is often influenced by the quality of those decisions. And it is frequently the small choices, repeated over time, that eventually produce significant outcomes.

Last year this time of the year, a friend of mine faced such a decision. His teenage daughter wanted to attend Plett Rage—the annual celebration where matriculants gather in Plettenberg Bay after completing school.

His immediate answer was no.

He knew that the event could become quite wild and did not want to expose his daughter to unnecessary temptation or danger. His protective instinct spoke loudly – and understandably so.

But instead of allowing his first reaction to become the final decision, he paused. He breathed. He told his daughter that he wanted some time to think about it.

He discussed it with his wife. Then they returned to their daughter and invited her into a deeper conversation. They listened to why she wanted to go, spoke honestly about the risks, and explored her values, boundaries and intentions.

In the end, they allowed her to attend.

She went with a clear understanding of who she was, what she stood for and how she wanted to conduct herself. She remained in communication with her parents throughout. She returned not only safe, but stronger, more responsible and better prepared for the greater independence of university life.

The outcome could have been very different if fear had received the final vote – or if they had simply ignored the risks and relied on optimism. Instead, they brought reality, values, trust, relationship and wisdom into the same conversation. And their relationship deepened.

Every decision has voices behind it. Some speak loudly: fear, urgency, the need to prove ourselves or the desire to please others. Other voices are quieter: the facts, our values, experience, intuition and deeper wisdom.

We live in a world with no shortage of information. Yet we often experience a shortage of wisdom and direction.

So, before deciding, perhaps we can pause, calm down intentionally and mindfully, and ask:

• What anchors me? Who am I, what is my purpose and source of security, and which values matter here?
• What is really happening? What are the facts and risks? And what do I assume that might be inaccurate?
• What else might be possible? Is there another way of seeing or approaching this?
• What is my deeper wisdom telling me? What deeper, inner whispers of insight and wisdom do I sense?
• What will I now choose—and do?

For me, that deepest anchor is God. I need more than information; I need wisdom. I find it through thinking, listening, honest conversation and prayer. My faith does not remove the need to face reality carefully – it helps me decide from a deeper foundation.

Perhaps there is a decision in your life or leadership that deserves more than another hurried answer. It may need a little space, a different perspective and a wiser conversation.

Helping leaders and leadership teams create that space is an important part of what I do through Ways2Grow. You are welcome to visit the renewed Ways2Grow website or contact me for a conversation.

And if you know a leader who may benefit from this kind of thinking partnership, please introduce us or share this letter with them.

Sometimes one thoughtful conversation can change the direction of an important decision—and perhaps much more.