Recently, in a coaching session, a successful, young man told me he does not want to live anymore, because “life sucks”. “Anyway”, he said, “what is there to live for?”

I am not going to answer that question for you today. I agree it is quite a complex issue, especially when life gets tough. Rather, let’s take another angle. Just go with me, and perhaps you will discover something that can radically impact your life and set you free as this process has done for many other lives.

If you could meet your older, wiser self today, what do you think he/she would say to you?

Imagine yourself in your eighties. You are still reasonably healthy, strong and clear-minded, living in a beautiful, peaceful place. You have lived a full and meaningful life.

Your older self welcomes you and takes you into a gallery filled with photographs from your life. Together, you slowly walk past the people, places and moments that shaped your journey.

Which photographs would your older self pause at?

What stories would you tell each other?

And if you asked, “What is really important in my life right now?” what would your older, wiser self say?

While I was preparing to take a group of senior leaders through this exercise, it has become deeply personal for me. As I am writing this, my dad is nearing the end of his earthly journey. He is in and out of consciousness now. Over the past while, we have had some deep conversations about his life – what he valued, what he enjoyed, what caused him pain, what he would perhaps have done differently.

Listening to him has made me listen more carefully to my own life.

We can, of course, learn something from the younger person we once were. When we reconnect with that child, we may rediscover our innocence, our sense of wonder and something of the beauty with which we were created.

But we can also learn from the person we are still becoming.

In Positive Intelligence, this is called the Sage power of Navigate. We step away from the noise and pressure of the present and look at our lives through the eyes of our older, wiser self.

In my own reflection, I pictured myself in my eighties, walking through the gallery of my life. I saw photographs of my marriage and family, the people I have served, my work, my faith, mountain-bike journeys, moments of laughter and the simple joy of being alive.

Interesting, my older self did not speak much about achievements, status or all the things that can feel so urgent today.

He reminded me to live now. For example, he encouraged me…

• To enjoy God and receive His love and grace.
• To enjoy my marriage and my family – to receive their love and give mine freely.
• To be a blessing to others and allow love, life and growth to flow through me.
• To enjoy my work and keep helping people and businesses unlock their potential, without allowing work to become my whole life.
• To care wisely for my health and finances, while still making room for fun, adventure trips and a few long mountain-bike journeys.

Your older, wiser self may say something quite different to you. What will it be?

Perhaps he/she would encourage you to have a conversation you have been postponing. To worry less. To forgive someone. To begin something. To make more time for the people you love. Or simply to slow down and be more present in the life you already have.

Stephen Covey asked us to imagine what the people closest to us might one day say at our funeral. It is a sobering question, but it is not meant to make us morbid. It helps us become clearer about how we want to live now while we still have the opportunity.

So maybe you could find a few quiet minutes and visit your older, wiser self.

Life, purpose and meaning… these important ingredients of true life are not waiting somewhere in the future. It is happening now – in today’s conversations, choices, relationships and ordinary moments.

Perhaps your older, wiser self is already waiting to remind you of that…? And perhaps you will learn to find and value what is really important. Then, you will be fully alive to live!

Lastly, a colleague recently said: perhaps we should not try to find meaning in life, but rather give meaning to our lives? May your life be truly meaningful and worth living.